Dear Co-op

We have done everything you have requested. We have submitted all of the required papers, including adhering to your last minute requests. Our plumber and electrician have listed you additional insured. Our GC completed and passed his lead paint certification. As of Friday, we have expeditiously responded to and completed everything. After all this, you continue to be non-responsive and slow. We were hoping to start today, or at least hear back from you today. However, our managing agent forgot to mention that she is out of the office. No bother though, we actually enjoy paying mortgage for an empty apartment. Really, it looks so nice and barren right now, why would we want to ruin it? I mean, just look at that lovely pink master bathroom, really?